Funny that I choose to write about Mom today, of all days. Oh yes, I’m going to stress on this getting-older thingy until I get sick of it. I’m not gonna let this thing slide by me un-noticed.

Things about Mom:

The way she answers the phone is very uplifting. It’s always “Hi Con” with the “con” tilted up, making me think she’s happy to hear my voice. And she asks how things are with me, with Hung, the kids. No gossipping. No downtalking of anyone. And her phone calls are mostly short.

She always hugs and kisses me when I see her or when I say goodbye. At one point in my life, I talked myself into thinking that I was a grown-up adult so I kept my arms on my sides when she tried to hug me. Mom really practices the “if you love somebody, show it now. You might never see them again” without realizing it.

Mom doesn’t even think she’s old! She walks every morning for 2 hours while listening and singing to the tunes of her iShuffle. Definitely I can’t keep up with her pace. And she’s happy and smiling most of the time. She understands dirty jokes better than me. I guess the saying is true: You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

Starting about 2 years ago, Mom doesn’t want me to cook at home when I visit her. She said I go to San Diego to enjoy my time, not to spend it in the kitchen. So now, we almost always eat out. And she insists to pay too. Mom is one rare person from the old generation who knows how to enjoy life. When shopping with her, she has the knack for expensive stuff. Unlike me, who prefers shopping at Ross and Target!

Mom loves jewelry. Real ones. Back then in VietNam, her hobby was to visit the jewelry shops and spent the whole day selecting diamonds. She can tell the diamond grade and size. 4-5 years back, she started to give out the jewelry to the kids. She gave me the earrings Dad gave her on their wedding. And I lost them!!!!! :( She doesn’t know yet that I lost them. I’m so sorry, Mom!

Mom had a good aristocratic life in VietNam. She had maids and chauffeur. Her nails were always well-manicured, and she was very proud of her hands. We left behind everything when we came to the States, and Mom had to go to work. Her first job was doing dry flower arrangement in an unheated warehouse. She was paid $1.75/hour. I remember her being so happy of her first paycheck. When we had the restaurant, Mom cooked from morning to night. Once in a while, we heard her screaming out because of the hot oil splattered on her hands. Few days later, she would show Dad her hands with the burned spots and called them her diamonds.

Mom is both old-fashioned and modern-thinking. I can’t think of a time when she’s old-fashioned though… She does not believe in the typical shy woman in the bedroom. I guess being gái Huế has something to do with it. A woman has to be thơm-tho, and wears clean and pretty pajamas (in VietNam, PJs are worn all day long) to welcome the husband coming home from work. She still flirts but loves Dad too much to get remarried (her words: đi thêm bước nữa).

What I always do when I see my Mom:

If I stay over at Danielle’s house in San Diego, I’ll make sure to sleep in Mom’s bedroom, on the blue sofa. That’s my way of being closer to her, to lie there in the dark listening to the clock ticking in her heart, to wake up in the middle of the night when she had to use the bathroom.

I see Mom maybe every 6 months. I always try to color her hair. Mom’s hair used to be very thick; she called it Tóc Mây. But her hair is getting thinner and would be all white without the coloring. Mom’s hair started to go grey right after Dad passed away. Mom looks at least 10 years younger after I dye her hair black/brown. Her face beams up after she washes and blow dries her hair.

Everytime I see Mom, I see myself in 30 years. And I pray to have the same spirit and vitality.