My birthday is coming up in 21 hours. The house is all quiet. Tina is probably dreaming about her boys. So what do I do to stay awake but reading aging jokes?

Success
At age 4 success is…not peeing in your pants.
At 12 success is . . . having friends.
At 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At 20 success is . . . having sex ;)
At 35 success is . . having money.
At 50 success is . . . having money.
At 60 success is . . . having sex :(
At 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At 75 success is . . . having friends.
At 80 success is . . not peeing in your pants.

Now and Then
1975: Long hair
2007: Longing for hair

1975: Acid rock
2007: Acid reflux

1975: Growing pot
2007: Growing pot belly

1975: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2007: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1975: Hoping for a BMW
2007: Hoping for a BM

1975: Going to a new, hip joint
2007: Receiving a new hip joint

1975: Rolling Stones
2007: Kidney Stones

1975: Being called into the principal’s office
2007: Calling the principal’s office

1975: Disco
2007: Costco

1975: Passing the drivers’ test
2007: Passing the vision test