she really is …

How else do you explain? She was in the engineering field making big bucks, but quit her job to take art classes. She’s now teaching at San Francisco Academy of Arts, making 1/5 of what she was making at BEA. And totally happier. Well, most of the time, when she’s not tearing her heart apart because of some stupid love affairs …

How do I describe my little sister? Spontaneous yet careful. Child-like yet mature. Happy-going yet confused and lost. She falls in love with all her heart and soul. When in love, she sees nothing wrong, nothing negative. Everything is so sweet.

And she thinks that the people she loves most in her life, are the ones fucking her up. We debate about this issue a zillion times. Do others fuck up our life? Or do we, due to some inner fears and insecurity, manipulate the relationship and, at the end, poison it to death? We should not wait for others to bring us happiness. In other words, we are the ones responsible to plan/create/make things happen, and we should hold ourselves accountable for our life. I’ve always believed that happiness is the sole purpose in life, not money, not jewelry or other material accumulation. My blog on happiness is here but it is not my definition of the alluring and elusive happiness. For now, just read and be happy with the list of things that make me happy here. K?

Why do some people flow through life so smoothly, so happily; and some of us suffer at every twist and turn that life throws at us? Blame it on karma?

Or, blame it on bad DNA. I like this excuse… Maybe Sister#3 can give a lesson on DNA.

Blame it on our parents? Nah, my parents are the most happy couple on earth. Never saw them fight. If my Mom looked a bit unhappy, my Dad would always cajol until she smiled. And I don’t recollect my Dad upset at my Mom. Even though I remember he was always mad at me every day I came home from school. :(

I admit I’m quite skeptical when it comes to personal relationships. I was told to be the half-empty glass type, who takes one step forward yet two steps back. I always remember a story about HoChiMinh. He said, if your finger hurts, cut it off. I equate the hurt finger to a painful relationship. So I even go a step further by preventing the finger to become hurt, so no one needs to cut off anything. Meaning, no relationship, no feelings, no expectations, no disappointment, no broken heart.

I think I’m as fucked up as my sister. Must be the DNA …