Pretty soon, like in 24 hours, I want to have my resolutions drawn. I don’t want to think of these as goals, because as goals, they would need to have plans and deadlines. So, they are promises to myself. This year, I want them simple. I learned from Kitty, my younger sister, to have a simple yet fulfilling life. Not asking for more things. But look inward and ask yourself what could have been done better. Better in terms of closer to being the real you, to fulfilling your purpose of being part of this universe.

I can tell you now, I won’t grow my own vegetables, or make my own candles. I have no patience for gardening or any kind of crafts. At least not for the coming year. And I will be happy if I can accomplish what I describe below even though they don’t seem to be life-changing and earth-shattering efforts.

Being more organized in my life. Yeah, in my work too whenever that day comes. This requires building some discipline in my daily activities. One of the patterns that keeps repeating in my life is I let things piled up in my room, then I start to pretend I didn’t see the mess, then I  get stressed out, then I start to think and plan on cleaning up. All the while I plan to clean up the room, and this can take a whole week, I get more stressed out until I just can’t take it anymore. I just plunge in, totally shut out everyone and everything else, and clean the room from floor to ceiling. So, this year, I need to come up with another plan to keep it clean all the time. The night cream jars and vitamin bottles on my night table can certainly go. Same with the luggage I’ve been having in the room since I came back from my last trip in July. And I can donate the swimsuits I bought on-line that don’t fit and I got too lazy to return. And really, just walking around a messy place drags me down. It reminds me of how procrastinating I am, and the mess will not go away until I clean it up.

Wake up early and do something productive instead of just drinking my coffee and being a zombie for 2 hours. And the real trick here is to jump out of bed and never look back. The moment I concede to just lie down for another 5 minutes, I’m doomed for another 2 hours of sleep.

Get back to my exercise regime. Before the stroke, I exercised at least 3 times a week. Since then, I’ve been finding all sorts of excuses not to exercise: it’s too cold; it’s too early in the day; it’s too late in the day; my hip hurts; I can’t yet do yoga; the gym is too far; I just don’t wanna ….Exercise not only helps me stay in shape, but also gets me back to my living a normal life. I should write that reminder on a piece of paper and tape it on my mirror.

Learn to see the positive side of things. I’m pretty good at seeing and pointing out the positive side in other people’s situations, but tend to be blind when it comes to myself. I think that stems from my being overly critical and judgmental of myself. I accept people being human and making mistakes; it just gnaws at myself when I do.

Be happy. And if I am not, force it, fake it. We’re here on borrowed times, and time is running out. We all will leave here when the show is over. There is no negotiation, no doubts about it. Laugh at myself. Laugh with others. Laugh at situations. Do anything and everything to get yourself laughing.

Become more environmentally-conscious. Think of how to get greener in my activities, whether by cutting down on my aimless driving, turning off the lights, taking shorter and warm-not-steaming-hot showers, supporting local and organic produce, bringing my own reusable bags for groceries, …

Find fulfillment inwards. I find homemade meals a product of love and caring. Occasional celebrations are nice, but daily eating out reflects either laziness, a lack of self-caring, or a need for external acceptance.