Yippy! My surgery date got postponed for almost a month! One more month of sure living!

When people are well and healthy, little do they think of how precious life is. I started the countdown one month back. And when there was only 1 week left, the anxiety took over and I was operating my days as if going through a mine field.  I knew what I was going through, but I couldn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t want to worry them. I didn’t want them to think I was dramatizing the situation. I didn’t want to hear from them that it’s common procedure with the medical advances nowadays. Place any of them on the operating table, and see how they act. All I needed was a pair of ears. I’ve done my research on the surgery and know quite well how it will go. Brace yourself and see it here. The operation was performed by Dr. Gaudiani, who is also my surgeon. Make sure you watch all 3 parts. My poor little heart!

I have always said that I’m not afraid of death. Don’t believe it! Watching me the last few days, I realize I was so scared I couldn’t even think. I had to pack my days with multiple activities, to take my mind off the surgery. I went shopping a lot, because what was I saving for? I made a big purchase without a second thought. I cried every night thinking I’m going through death alone. I went and kinda said goodbye to everyone, just in case I don’t make it. The only thing I had not done was drawing my will.

But now, I’m being given more time. You might think why don’t I just get it over with. The success rate of the surgery is 99%. My thinking is, if you play Russian roulette, and there’s only 1% that you will get shot, would you willingly allow it?

Besides, I think it’s fate that the date got postponed. I went to see Dr. Irani, who said my heart murmur is not as loud anymore, and that the surgery is still necessary but the dates could be postponed 1-2 months, up to me. While I was in the cardiologist office, the surgeon office called to request for the schedule change. What do you call that, if not synchronicity? Who am I to question fate? So of course i asked for as late a date as possible. Which is now Sept 22nd. Beautiful!