On Day1, the fear of losing my freedom, of surrendering, wreaked havoc …  I thought Day9 would never come around .. Yet it is with regrets and fear of losing my peace that today I face the last day of being here. One more day to wrench my mind from impurities and to totally concentrate on the sensations. Already I’m planning a list of things to do when I come home. Which is counter-productive. Don’t I ever learn to live in the present? My present sensations. Not feelings from the past. Nor worries about the future.

Today’s focus is on sankara. We continue sweeping our body from the top of the head to the ten little toes. We stop for a couple of minutes at any sensation felt, observe it, and move on to the next part. No lingering or reacting to any sensation. Reacting to a sensation creates a new sankara. With the knowledge that the true nature of sankara is impermanence, we observe its existence or insurgence and let it go. As new sensation arises, it is common for old sankaras to resurface. Do not entertain or feed on these old sankaras.

I can see the light shedding on my dark brain on this last day here. I’ve always hung on to hurts and mistakes of the past. As if I don’t want to forgive myself, as if I want to  make sure I will never forget and therefore not making the same mistake again. But the same pain and mistake keep following me. My sankara kept accumulating and building up. Oan-nghiệp, oan-nghiệp …

As we continue the practice, existing sankara, whether it’s a craving or an aversion, will be eradicated. This is the only way to remove sakara.

Giãi-nghiệp …